Spaghetti Squash, You FAKE!

Maybe it’s not really Spaghetti Squash’s fault. We don’t normally give ourselves our own name. But to whoever gave Spaghetti Squash it’s name has misled an army of dieters.

I dare you to go on a diet forum and make a post that says something like “I know I could do a better job sticking to my diet if I could just eat more pasta!” You will, I can almost guarantee it, bring out some well-meaning but misinformed person who will happily give you this golden piece of advice “Have you tried Spaghetti Squash!” 😀

I have desperately tried to embrace Spaghetti Squash, and I have desperately tried to fool myself into believing that it could replace spaghetti, and coming to the cold hard conclusion that no matter how hard I try – Spaghetti Squash is as far from it’s pasta namesake as green beans is from chocolate. Really. When someone pipes in and says “Have you tried Spaghetti Squash?!” I feel like responding “No. I haven’t eaten poop yet either, but I’m pretty sure it’s not spaghetti either!” (No, I don’t say that but I think it really loud)

Maybe it’s my fault too. I’m such a horrible cook. If I could make delicious homemade healthy dinners, deiting and healthy living would be so much easier. Instead, I grab a recipe for Spaghetti Squash off the internet. And I dress up the VEGETABLE (It IS a vegetable. Vegetable != Pasta!!!! M’kay?) like it’s a drag queen pasta dish, and it tastes simply awful.

So my final conclusion. Spaghetti Squash: You only vaguely resemble spaghetti in shape, but you are nothing like the goodness that is carb-filled pasta. You don’t taste like spaghetti. You don’t smell like spaghetti. If you cook just a minute too long you become a mushy mess and then you don’t even come close to looking like spaghetti. YOU, my fine veggie friend, are an imposter of the worst kind. You make people think they can eat a spaghetti dish that has next to no calories. You fill my dinner with dreams and promises and then you don’t deliver. You are a charlatan. A fraud!!

I dare any of you to come up with a recipe using spaghetti squash that 1) I can make without screwing up, 2) I can make quickly because not only do I suck at cooking, I hate doing it too, so the sooner I’m out of the kitchen and into the dinning room the better, and 3) that doesn’t taste like poo. I dare you. Because I know it can’t be done. HA!


  1. Jamie Dillier
    Sep 13, 2009

    I could not agree more wholeheartedly with this post! I feel like I might almost like Spaghetti Squash if I wasn’t expecting anything resembling spaghetti.

  2. Jennifer
    Sep 13, 2009

    Yeah, I mean, the name is the killer. If they called it something like – stringy mushy squash, I don’t think I’d hate it so much. It’s all about setting expectations!

  3. Gillian
    Sep 13, 2009

    Guilty as charged ha ha :-) When I am in the beginning stages of a diet working for me, I love, love, love spaghetti squash. Then… to the point that if I have leftovers in the fridge it makes me gag.

    As for cooking, I find it palatable to cut in half, scoop out the seeds, (but nothing else), put facedown in deep microwave dish, (like a Pyrex or square brownie-type pan that is microwave safe). Cover with plastic wrap, (yeah, I know you shouldn’t microwave that but…) and microwave for about 12-14 minutes. Take out of microwave, let sit, still covered, for another 15 minutes. Then, turn over the squash and use a fork to take out the strands. This can help cut down on the mushiness. I like to put in a saucepan: chopped onion, garlic, mostly drained can of diced tomatoes, basil, something salty (such as olives or thinly sliced turkey pepperoni) and mix together.

    It is good, but, I admit, not fantastic. Incredibly low calorie though… (and so is celery and packing peanuts!)

  4. Jennifer
    Sep 13, 2009

    Actually I found the best way to cook it was to poke it with a fork a few times and stick the whole thing in the microwave (uncut) for about 10mins. It’s so much easier to cut in half then, and the pulp comes out easier and it also seems to cook better that way (when I’ve cut it and THEN put it in – it just doesn’t seem to really cook and it’s almost impossible to cut in half raw) Maybe that’s just me 😀

    I’ll have to try it cooking it up with some salty stuff. Maybe that will help. Would be SO nice to have a dish that I like that is that low calorie!

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