House Music

Growing up, there was always music in the house. Both my brothers played various instruments, but particularly my second oldest brother played piano and particularly well. I played piano for a few years but never came close to being even a fraction as good as he was. But my brother played all the time. If he was home – there was music in the air.

I miss having music in the house. For awhile, Rachel was taking cello lessons, and when she’d practice – there was music in the house again. But this year we’ve had all kinds of issues with her and her grades and I needed to cancel the lessons so she could focus on getting her grades back up. So it is silent again.

When my mother came to visit us recently, she brought with her a new instrument she’s been playing for the last year or so. It’s called a mountain dulcimer. For kicks, I had her teach me a little bit. It’s simpler than playing piano, so simple it reminds me of playing one of the kids toys – but the sound is beautiful. She taught me a few songs and how to read “tablature” – music specifically written for the dulcimer – it’s very easy to follow. Rachel even picked up her cello and played along with my mother and I. (She hasn’t played her cello since we stopped lessons).

So now I’m on a quest to find a dulcimer. I want music in my house again.

Paradox

It’s May now. In my mind, I thought that, come May, I’d be able to start running outside again (I decided running indoors was not my thing this winter). I was looking forward to warm weather, putting away my winter coat at least until the fall. So far, I am extremely disappointed. We had a weekend or two at most in April that vaguely resembled spring – but the rest of the time, it’s been cold sometimes to the point of snowing. Last night we went to dinner up in Park City. It started snowing – which at this point isn’t all that surprising – we’ve been getting snow on and off for the last week. But then it REALLY started coming down. Driving back down the canyon – the snow was coming down so hard we could barely see where we going. All over the road, people had to creep along on the highway so slowly, not because the roads were slick, but because it was like driving through a sheet of white. Basically a blizzard. On the first of May.

I’m so fed up with the weather here that I’m seriously ready to move. Where, I have no idea – but I’m not a fan of the cold. And this is really making me long for some place new.

Trying not to judge but worrying just the same

I know for a fact that my family sticks out like a sore thumb where we live. We are very different here. Who knows, maybe people look at us and feel there is something seriously wrong with us. (In some ways they’re right. LOL!) Whether they’re right or wrong, it’s who we are and we’re ok.

Every now and then I run across a kid or family that I just get a strange gut feeling about. To do anything more than ponder would be to stick my nose where it doesn’t belong. Recently it’s been this one family I’ve been worrying about. I see the boy and he looks so terribly terribly sad. Every day. I see his sister and she looks awkward in her own skin and also sad. I see their father and he seems to be barely notice the two of them and just rushes to get away from them. I see them every morning and it’s absolutely none of my business but I worry about them. I worry about those kids and wonder if they’re alright and hope there’s someone whose business it is, is making sure they’re ok.

You hear terrible stories on the news about kids being hurt, and you think – couldn’t someone have done something?? Didn’t anyone notice anything strange? But really how do you draw the line between being nosey? I just have to walk away and try to ignore my gut feeling and hope I’m just imagining it.

Spring Cleaning Inspiration

Nothing like watching an epsiode of Hoarders to inspire some spring cleaning! LOL! The kids playroom – previously such a disaster you couldn’t walk in the room – is now looking rather nice. And despite the kids fears that I was going to throw away all their toys – there’s still plenty left to play with – they don’t miss the ones I tossed. (Usually broken toys, or ones that involved numerous (missing) pieces). It feels so good to PURGE! I’d love to just keep throwing stuff out.

Life Update

I‘m totally uninspired to write a deep reflective post about anything in particular in my life. We’re just going through the days. So here’s a random scattering of things going on in my life at the moment…

Freelance work has kept me pretty busy – not as busy as it was a few weeks ago (that much busy would have killed me if it kept up!) Still – it’s been hectic enough that eating healthy has taken a back seat. Many dinners have crept up before I could get a handle on things and we’d end up ordering out. Expensive and unhealthy. I finally broke down and signed my saturday morning away to make a bunch of meals through Dream Dinners. I was at first not looking forward to it – but it didn’t take long (about an hour and a half start to finish to prep 12 dinners) and now we have 3 meals a week for the next month ready to go. All relatively healthy (Well at least it’s better and cheaper than the takeout we’ve been getting!)

I’m still waiting on an evaluation to resolve the other issue I discussed. Just a little more info on it: Rachel’s grades have been terrible this year. It’s weird because she’s really very bright, her reading level is well above her grade level – but she has never done as well as I thought she could. But this year is by far the worst. I’m honestly wondering if they’ll let her move to 5th grade. Unfortunately I wasn’t aware of how bad it was until parent teacher conferences a few weeks ago. (Long story – but yeah, I was totally kept out of the loop and I’m REALLY pissed about it. At this point, really how much can we do to get her grades up??!!) Some things in particular that I’ve been seeing have really made me wonder about whether or not she has ADHD. (Not the hyperactivity – but the inattentive type) She’s extremely disorganized. She does really sloppy work and just rushes through it to get it done quick – so she makes a ton of careless mistakes. If you call her on it and make her go back, she’s often able to see her errors. Part of the reason for her bad grades is because she is constantly losing the papers she needs to work on or turn in. When I stand over her shoulder and make her do her homework, she doesn’t really fight me on it – but it is a bit of a struggle to keep her on task. It’s easier when I make lists for her for everything. Including what she needs to do to get ready in the morning – otherwise she’d forget really basic things like brushing her hair or teeth! (And my telling her to go and do it isn’t enough. It’s like if a bird flies by the window, she’s on another track and she won’t do what she was supposed to) Even the religious school teacher said she’ll call on Rachel in class when they’re having a class discussion and it’s like Rachel was checked out the whole time. So now I’m just waiting to see a specialist to have her evaluated. I hesitated to bring it up on the blog because I know there’s all sorts of hype about ADHD – how they’re “diagnosing all kids with it and just dumping drugs on them” or something. Or how people blame TV and video games for the rise in ADHD. (I think they recently proved that to have no effect anyway) I don’t want to hear about how if we change our eating habits and eat all whole foods, etc. how it will cure her. I have started giving her Omega-3 supplements – which I did see some reliable data on how it can improve kids with ADHD, but I’m not convinced that it’s having any kind of a noticeable impact. I’m going to keep it up because I still think it’s probably a good thing for the kids to have – but it’s not a cure for ADHD. All I want right now is a diagnosis. I don’t want to hear how she has to “try harder” and this is all her fault. The level of disorganization, and the level of how much she seems to have trouble with the work that involves a certain level of sustained mental effort – I really don’t think it’s her not trying. And to be honest, I’ve had my suspicions about her since Kindergarten – but of course no one would evalute her for ADHD then! I just want an evaluation, and then we’ll have a plan of action. Whether it be medication or not (I don’t think she’s severe so maybe it’s just a matter of therapy to help her) – I can’t get help until I know and have proof of what the problem is.

=deep breath=

Anyway – moving on… Passover really took a backseat this year. In the past, my parents have come out for some part of it and we’ve had a seder with them – but they couldn’t make it out this year. They do have a big seder at the new Synagogue we’re a part of now, but Zachary is such a spaz that I didn’t want to deal with bringing him. (And it would have had to be me and the kids alone, because Sam wouldn’t have been able to make it out of work in time for the seder).

Sam doesn’t really do the Easter thing with the exception of the candy. LOL! His mom sent the kids a big care package of chocolate and jelly beans – we were able to hold them off until today and now they’re all in a sugar coma.

Speaking of Sam – his job is really unstable right now. I have no idea how this year is going to play out, but it doesn’t look good. Oy.

Anyway – our plans for the day: we’re going to see that new animated movie “How to train a dragon”. (Speaking of movies, we finally got a babysitter and got out to see Avatar last week. Awesome movie!!! I’m so glad we were able to see it before it left the theaters. I’m definitely going to get the blu-ray of that when it comes out too.)

So about the babysitter – after the fiasco with the last babysitter (found out she was lying about a whole bunch of things and had basically “permanently borrowed” someone’s car. That someone showed up on OUR doorstep to collect said car from her… OY!!!) – we hadn’t been able to find anyone and I finally caved in and signed up for a membership with SitterCity.com. SO GLAD I did. We’ve now found this girl, she actually lives really close to us – maybe 2 minutes away, IF that. So far the kids haven’t scared her away yet and as far as we can tell she doesn’t seem to have any serious mental defects like the last one. LOL!