Spring Cleaning Inspiration

Nothing like watching an epsiode of Hoarders to inspire some spring cleaning! LOL! The kids playroom – previously such a disaster you couldn’t walk in the room – is now looking rather nice. And despite the kids fears that I was going to throw away all their toys – there’s still plenty left to play with – they don’t miss the ones I tossed. (Usually broken toys, or ones that involved numerous (missing) pieces). It feels so good to PURGE! I’d love to just keep throwing stuff out.

Life Update

I‘m totally uninspired to write a deep reflective post about anything in particular in my life. We’re just going through the days. So here’s a random scattering of things going on in my life at the moment…

Freelance work has kept me pretty busy – not as busy as it was a few weeks ago (that much busy would have killed me if it kept up!) Still – it’s been hectic enough that eating healthy has taken a back seat. Many dinners have crept up before I could get a handle on things and we’d end up ordering out. Expensive and unhealthy. I finally broke down and signed my saturday morning away to make a bunch of meals through Dream Dinners. I was at first not looking forward to it – but it didn’t take long (about an hour and a half start to finish to prep 12 dinners) and now we have 3 meals a week for the next month ready to go. All relatively healthy (Well at least it’s better and cheaper than the takeout we’ve been getting!)

I’m still waiting on an evaluation to resolve the other issue I discussed. Just a little more info on it: Rachel’s grades have been terrible this year. It’s weird because she’s really very bright, her reading level is well above her grade level – but she has never done as well as I thought she could. But this year is by far the worst. I’m honestly wondering if they’ll let her move to 5th grade. Unfortunately I wasn’t aware of how bad it was until parent teacher conferences a few weeks ago. (Long story – but yeah, I was totally kept out of the loop and I’m REALLY pissed about it. At this point, really how much can we do to get her grades up??!!) Some things in particular that I’ve been seeing have really made me wonder about whether or not she has ADHD. (Not the hyperactivity – but the inattentive type) She’s extremely disorganized. She does really sloppy work and just rushes through it to get it done quick – so she makes a ton of careless mistakes. If you call her on it and make her go back, she’s often able to see her errors. Part of the reason for her bad grades is because she is constantly losing the papers she needs to work on or turn in. When I stand over her shoulder and make her do her homework, she doesn’t really fight me on it – but it is a bit of a struggle to keep her on task. It’s easier when I make lists for her for everything. Including what she needs to do to get ready in the morning – otherwise she’d forget really basic things like brushing her hair or teeth! (And my telling her to go and do it isn’t enough. It’s like if a bird flies by the window, she’s on another track and she won’t do what she was supposed to) Even the religious school teacher said she’ll call on Rachel in class when they’re having a class discussion and it’s like Rachel was checked out the whole time. So now I’m just waiting to see a specialist to have her evaluated. I hesitated to bring it up on the blog because I know there’s all sorts of hype about ADHD – how they’re “diagnosing all kids with it and just dumping drugs on them” or something. Or how people blame TV and video games for the rise in ADHD. (I think they recently proved that to have no effect anyway) I don’t want to hear about how if we change our eating habits and eat all whole foods, etc. how it will cure her. I have started giving her Omega-3 supplements – which I did see some reliable data on how it can improve kids with ADHD, but I’m not convinced that it’s having any kind of a noticeable impact. I’m going to keep it up because I still think it’s probably a good thing for the kids to have – but it’s not a cure for ADHD. All I want right now is a diagnosis. I don’t want to hear how she has to “try harder” and this is all her fault. The level of disorganization, and the level of how much she seems to have trouble with the work that involves a certain level of sustained mental effort – I really don’t think it’s her not trying. And to be honest, I’ve had my suspicions about her since Kindergarten – but of course no one would evalute her for ADHD then! I just want an evaluation, and then we’ll have a plan of action. Whether it be medication or not (I don’t think she’s severe so maybe it’s just a matter of therapy to help her) – I can’t get help until I know and have proof of what the problem is.

=deep breath=

Anyway – moving on… Passover really took a backseat this year. In the past, my parents have come out for some part of it and we’ve had a seder with them – but they couldn’t make it out this year. They do have a big seder at the new Synagogue we’re a part of now, but Zachary is such a spaz that I didn’t want to deal with bringing him. (And it would have had to be me and the kids alone, because Sam wouldn’t have been able to make it out of work in time for the seder).

Sam doesn’t really do the Easter thing with the exception of the candy. LOL! His mom sent the kids a big care package of chocolate and jelly beans – we were able to hold them off until today and now they’re all in a sugar coma.

Speaking of Sam – his job is really unstable right now. I have no idea how this year is going to play out, but it doesn’t look good. Oy.

Anyway – our plans for the day: we’re going to see that new animated movie “How to train a dragon”. (Speaking of movies, we finally got a babysitter and got out to see Avatar last week. Awesome movie!!! I’m so glad we were able to see it before it left the theaters. I’m definitely going to get the blu-ray of that when it comes out too.)

So about the babysitter – after the fiasco with the last babysitter (found out she was lying about a whole bunch of things and had basically “permanently borrowed” someone’s car. That someone showed up on OUR doorstep to collect said car from her… OY!!!) – we hadn’t been able to find anyone and I finally caved in and signed up for a membership with SitterCity.com. SO GLAD I did. We’ve now found this girl, she actually lives really close to us – maybe 2 minutes away, IF that. So far the kids haven’t scared her away yet and as far as we can tell she doesn’t seem to have any serious mental defects like the last one. LOL!

Hello Muddah, hello Faddah, Here I am at Camp Granada

June is fast approaching. Yes, it’s only March, and you may disagree with me – but to me – it seems like June will be here much sooner than I’m prepared for.

For the first time ever, I’ve signed Rachel up to go to a (Jewish) sleep-away camp for two weeks. She’s going to have an absolutely fantabulous time, I know. The activities they’re going to do there are just amazing: Horseback riding, Archery, various sports: hiking, volleyball, softball, climbing. There’s all sorts of artistic activities too: music, drama, arts and crafts, photography.

And of course, there is an exposure to Judaism that I can’t fully give her here. She’ll be with other Jewish kids (although kids of other faiths are welcome to go to the camp – but my guess is that is somewhat rare). I’m hoping she will walk away from the camp with a deeper understanding of what it means to be Jewish – even though we don’t always follow all the “rules” here at home.

There’s an enormously long list of items I have to send her with. Many things I’ll have to buy (like a frame backpack – the kids hike and camp out in the woods one night). I have no idea how I’m going to fit all these things in her suitcase…

… and this begins the explanation of why June feels like an unstoppable train headed this way. As much as I know she’s going to have an incredible time. As much as she’s looking forward to it – she’s barely been away from home for an overnight. Granted she’s very independent, but still. I know she’s not worried… but I sure am. They have a policy of not letting the kids contact the parents unless there’s a serious problem because they feel that it makes things worse and they’re trained and used to dealing with any seperation issues…. but still…. Two weeks. And!… AND!… She has to fly to this camp on her own. Is this an isnanity test or what?!?

Everyone has been saying this camp is amazing. She’ll be fine. And really, I think I’m not so much worried about her… I think it’s me who will be freaking out the two weeks she’s away. Meanwhile, she will be too busy having the time of her life. She’ll come home happy as a clam, and I’ll be a nervous wreck. LOL!

Have you ever heard this song?

Hello Muddah, Hello Fadduh
Here I am at Camp Granada
Camp is very entertaining
And they say we’ll have some fun if it stops raining!

I went hiking with Joyce Fivey,
He developed poison ivy.
You remember Lennard Skynard,
He got tomain poisoning last night after dinner!

All the counselors hate the waiters,
And the lake has alligators!
And the head coach wants no sissies,
So he reads to us from something called ‘Ulysses’.

No, I don’t want (this should scare ya),
But my bunkmate has malaria!
You remember Geoffrey Hardy,
They’re about to organize a searching party!

Take me home, oh mother, father.
Take me home, I hate Grenada.
Don’t leave me out in the forest,
Where I might get eaten by a bear!

Take me home, I promise that I will not make noise,
Or mess the house with other boys.
Oh please don’t make me stay;
I’ve been here one whole day!

Dearest father, darling mother,
How’s my precious little brother?
Let me come home if you miss me;
I would even let Aunt Bertha hug and kiss me!

Wait a minute; it stopped hailing.
Guys are swimming, guys are sailing.
Playing baseball; gee that’s better.
Mother, father, kindly disregard this letter!

Brand new day

“

These are not the words you want to hear, half-asleep, 5am in the morning. (Not that those words are ok anytime of the day) And thus began my day of balancing taking care of Zach while lugging my laptop around with me and trying to keep up with emails and whatever little projects I could get done. Fact of the matter was that he ended up being fine. I kept him home for the day, because I didn’t know what that was all about and wanted to keep an eye on him to be sure he was ok. But mostly he just wanted to play all day. Chalk it up to another day I’m thankful for my “work-at-home” life – even if I didn’t get that much work done today. heh.

Silence

Sometimes I want to come on here and apologize for being absent – but I have been purposefully silent. When this blog went public again, it was important for me to step back and not be as open as I had been. There are times that I really miss the ability to pour my soul out somewhere. But pouring your soul out doesn’t always fix things, sometimes it makes things worse. And with a password protected blog, sometimes it felt like it didn’t matter. If I stood in the woods and poured my soul out to the silence, did it really count? No. Kind of like the tree that never fell there too.

I don’t know what the solution is. Maybe that’s because the solution keeps changing on me.

We’re dealing with some family issues that I can’t get into great detail about on this blog. It’s been hammering away at my strength and has made me go from the very worst deep depression, to having hope again. I know I have to talk about it to deal with it, so I’ve been confiding in a few friends. It’s pretty ironic that as much like an outsider that I feel here, I seem to have more friends here than I have had anywhere else that we’ve lived. Talking has lessened the weight of this. But I still have to deal with it. And we’re weeks and weeks away from anything remotely resemebling a solution or help. IF we’ll even get it. I can deal with the problem providing I’m not told again there isn’t a problem. There is. But unless the help you need is going to walk a mile or ten in your shoes, it’s hard to get them to see it, I think.

I’ll just have to wait and see and hold onto that hope my friends gave me.