Learn to run: on hold

This is the second time I've tried to complete the week 3: session 1 run. (Run 3 minutes, walk 2 minutes x 10) I don't know if it's that I'm getting dehydrated, or the heat is sticking around a little longer the last few weeks (or both), but I'm able to get to about 30minutes, and then my body just quits. I feel sick to my stomach and I know if I don't stop, I won't even be able to make the walk back home. I'm also wanting to try to work in a few new things too - so I can't commit to running 3x a week. I want to try an aqua aerobic class, there's a new dance/aerobic type class starting soon, and I need to squeeze that weight training in. I'm not giving up completely, but just going to change things up. I'm going to try to run at least once a week - and I'm going to keep trying to finish the full session. I'll go for as long as I can and stop when I start to feel sick.

Taming the Lion

There was a great analogy that was posted on the MyFoodDiary forums: Addiction is like a roaring lion. Addicts who use tobacco, alcohol or drugs have to slam the door to the lion's cage and walk away to recover. Food addicts have to open the cage and pet the lion three times a day for the rest of their lives. I'm certainly not saying that food addictions are harder to handle than drug or alcohol addictions. But there is something uniquely difficult about an addiction where you can't just avoid the trigger completely. You have to eat. You can't just walk away from food. You can't draw that clear line. There's no monitoring needed - the solution is very clear: DO NOT DO THAT. This is not the case with food. With food, you gotta go in there and make nice with the lion. To me, that's why diets like MediFast (I also tried this one very briefly) and Jenny Craig are so appealing. Follow these instructions on how to pet the lion, and it won't eat you. But the problem, of course, comes when you have to fly solo - the lion looks awfully hungry. While I did gain some weight - maybe in comparison to others, I never let it get too bad. But I feel I was lucky in that I quickly realized how easily it could be to just keep packing on the pounds. These are all reasons why I now monitor what I eat as carefully as possible. If I have to go into that lion's cage, I've got to know exactly what I'm doing, when I'm doing it, how I'm doing it because otherwise, it's all over. If I could quit food cold turkey, I would. But (a) I love food!!! and (b) well, you can't. Sorry. I may be thinner now, but it's something that I'm going to always need to keep on top of. I'll never be able to turn my back on that lion. Beyond monitoring/calorie counting, a few other things I do to keep the lion under control: If there's snacks in the house, do not leave them where they are easily reached or seen. When I go shopping, I try to buy a few healthy snacks to help with random cravings. I'll look for the healthiest, lowest calorie things I can find. But even then, if you're just going to town on the bag, it's not going to be good. Also, if I see it, I'll start craving it, even if I wasn't craving it to begin with. So I'll put them out of sight. (On top of the fridge or waaay in the back of the pantry) That way I have them when I really need them, but I won't just want them because "they're there." Do not bring bad things into the house! Maybe this goes without saying, but I've heard people who are on diets say they suddenly lose it and eat a whole bag of Doritos. Uhm. WHY is there even a bag of Doritos in the house?? Do not buy things that will tempt you or have portions so ridiculously small that there is no way you could stay within their range. Sometimes the kids want some of these things, and I tell them point-blank - Sorry, we're picking out healthier snacks - not just for you but for me too. Clear out the pantry and the fridge of unhealthy food. Throw it away! And do not bring more into the house. Pay attention to what you're doing This does kind of fall in the monitoring category - but I think it's worth mentioning. It's way too easy to grab the bag of "healthy snacks" and bring them next to the computer - and eat the whole bag without realizing it. (Or maybe that's just me) If I want to snack while I'm on the computer (which is probably not a good thing to begin with, but whatever), I'll go measure out a portion, leave the bag in the kitchen, and then bring just the measured portion with me. That way, hopefully when the portion is gone, I'll be done, and if I still want more, at least I'll be aware of what I'm doing: get up, measure out a second portion, leave the bag, go back to the computer. Sure, if your computer is close to the kitchen, this is probably not going to work for you. I'd say the best bet is just not munch by the computer at all in that case. Choose wisely There are some days that lion is just loud. And really damn hungry. Some days you just want a massive huge plate of food. On those days, I'll try to deal with it by getting a whole head of lettuce, which thankfully isn't very calorie dense, and having a massive salad. (Of course watch how much dressing you put on, that stuff adds up). I'll add in some cooked chicken to add some protein, and that usually does the job.

Some weight you don’t want to lose

I signed up for a few personal training sessions a few months ago. I've spaced them out with the idea that I could do some work on my own then check back with the trainer for futher advice. Unfortunately, I haven't made the most of the last few months as far as strength training goes. I met with him anyway knowing that he was going to remind me why I really need to get the strength training back in. As expected, I have lost a fair amount of weight since the last time I had my measurements taken. Inches came off everywhere (I'll have to get and post the tally *see stats at bottom of post) but he told me that, without the resistance training, you can expect to lose between 2-3lbs of lean body mass (muscle) for every 10lbs of weight you lose. (Obviously you don't want to do that. The idea is to be lean and mean - not lean and unhealthy.) And he was almost spot on. I'd lost 13lbs since the last time I was measured, and 2.3lbs of that was lean body mass. BOO! 🙁 So yes, I need to get the weights back into the routine. There's so many obstacles - the biggest one being that right now, I'd rather be doing stuff outside; running, walking or biking. And of course there's the issue that I'm just not into weight lifting. It's not a whole lot of fun. But neither is losing muscle - so yeah, I know, I know. I've got to try and work it in, even just once a week is better than nothing. * Here are the stats of # inches I'm down: (first number is how much from last time, second number is how much from the first time I was measure in February) neck: .25" (1.75") chest: 2.25" (3.25") biceps: 1" (2") forearm: .5" (.5") waist: 1" (1.25") hips: 1" (2") thigh: 2" (4.75") (WOW! That is crazy.) So a total of 8" since last time, 15.5" total.

Life getting in the way of health

It seems contrary to say that life could get in the way of health. If you are truly living a healthy lifestyle - wouldn't health just be a part of life? That would be nice, but I think sometimes I continually battle to live that healthy lifestyle, and obstacles are always in the way of that. It is always a constant challenge. I have to accept that sometimes, living a health lifestyle doesn't mean living it every second of every day. I am human, sometimes I lose focus, get distracted, have other priorities I need to deal with. And yes, that sometimes means forgetting about the "diet" (Sorry - not diet - HEALTHY LIFESTYLE!) 😉 The past week has been a perfect example of life getting in the way of health. I had two social events last week that impacted my dinner - My tickets for Harry Potter were on the early-ish side and that meant either completely skipping dinner or grabbing something from the movie theatre. (Neither option a particularly healthy one). The next night was a Margarita BBQ party. I planned on not overdoing it, and I didn't totally pig out, but probably could have done better. Then the next day my daughter got sick at camp in the middle of the day, so I had to run and get her, get her to the doctors, run and get her medicine. She seemed better the next day, sent her back to camp, only to have to repeat the whole process again. Both nights, dinner became whatever was fast and convenient (which also usually means not the healthiest). Then on Monday night, Sam and I had our first date night in several months and we wanted to sample a number of foods from a nearby restaurant. This time, I KNOW I've done better. (As another example - if you look at my weight chart on the right - you'll see a huge drop and then a huge spike in the middle. That would definitely be life getting in the way of health. At that time in my life there were some significant events - one that made me stop eating completely for a few days, and then shortly after that a lot of traveling which made me eat food on the go. I think it took a while for my body and metabolism to recover from all that!) Fortunately, or unfortunately, the interesting thing was that last week I hit a new milestone. A week ago my weight had been the lowest I've ever been able to get it down to. (135.2) I was worried that the past week would have really messed me up - but except for the few pockets of "could have done better" - the rest of the time I was doing okay. If my dinner sucked calorie wise, I had at least watched the calories for breakfast, and lunch and snacks. So the a few takeaways I wanted to leave you with that I have learned: 1) Just because you blow it on one meal, doesn't mean you've blown it for good. It's not all or nothing. If you know you're going out later that evening, and know you want to be able to eat more "normally" - don't figure the whole day is a loss and pig out all day. It doesn't have to be that way. Save it for the party. That way the damage for the day is at least minimized. That's not to say you should starve yourself during the day - but just keep the calories in a tight check. In the end, you'll probably do better at the party than you thought, and you won't have strayed off target too bad. 2) If you forgot to brush your teeth one day, would you throw your toothbrush away and figure the whole point of brushing teeth has been lost? Of course the answer is no. You'd just brush your teeth the next day and get on with your life. This advice comes from one of the posters on the MyFoodDiary forums. I think it's a great way of thinking about it. If one week is just a total disaster (like my week has been) keep trying to get back on track. Keep moving on. Don't give up. I did the above. Some meals had to slide and I ate more than I should, or the meal wasn't as healthy as it could have been - but in between I did the best I could to stay on track. Things should start to settle down now. Work is still insanely busy right now, but I'm going to try and keep to the plan. The reminder to me that this is working is that despite the mistakes I made during the week - I still hit a new low today: 135.0lbs. So I only lost .2 lbs for this week - but given all the areas where I know I could have done better - I'm pretty happy with myself.

Diet is a four letter word

Growing up, I was never really aware of my weight. I guess I was always active enough (doing what, though, I'm not sure) and probably kept my calories down to a reasonable level or my metabolism handled things for me for a long time. Ah, Youth! I am 5'4" and have a medium to large build. I'm basing the "large build" on guides that have you measure your wrist circumference. Mine is 6". According to BMI measurements - I should weigh between 108 and 145lbs. But this doesn't take into consideration my build - it only bases that on height. If you just base it on build, the range is 134 - 151lbs. These two really do not add up. Especially if you're just looking at the low end: 108lbs vs 134lbs. That's a HUGE difference! I think when I was in high school - I was probably about 125 pounds. College got me up to 130-135 which is where I stayed for a good long time. Then... I got pregnant with my first kid. I used the pregnancy as an excuse to over indulge and after it was all said and done - I was at 145 (which really isn't TOO bad). As the years crept by, I think that great metabolism I used to have went away. Soon enough I was at 150lbs, then 160lbs. 160 was definitely the wake-up call. I did the South Beach diet, and got myself very briefly down to just under 150. It didn't last. Then I got pregnant again, and after all was said and done on that one - I was at 155lbs. This of course, slowly crept up to 160 - which I was almost willing to accept. But when I saw it going OVER 160 - I realized it would never end. If I didn't make a change, I would just continue to gain weight. I tried to do South Beach, but just couldn't be that rigid again. I tried a couple of other "fad" diets - of course, these do not work. So I tried Jenny Craig. This did work for a while. I was on Jenny Craig for about 3-4 months. I ate the food out of the boxes - it wasn't bad. I had a lot of crazy-hungry days, but I just dealt with it. I did everything online - and instead of going in to see them, a consultant called me once a week. When I got my weight down below 150 - she cheered and said "SAY GOOD BYE TO THE 150's!!" I was happy, but didn't really feel the excitement. I had been down there before. I wasn't convinced I could stay there. After all, I didn't want to live on Jenny Craig food forever. I ultimately got down to 145lbs. It felt like I was there for just a day. By this time I was sick of Jenny Craig and desperately wanted to eat normal food again. I had been exercising at Curves, but was SO bored with it. I was in over my head with work - and every minute I couldn't put in trying to finish the project I was doing at the time, made me crazy. So I quit everything. Just a few months later I was back up to 155lbs. I'd lost 15lbs on Jenny Craig and immediately gained 10 of it back. Not good. I needed a new plan. The first thing I did was join 24 Hour Fitness. I thought that if I just "ate less" and exercised regularly, I could lose weight. Well, that was partially true. In the end that didn't work. I lost maybe a pound - maybe two - over the course of two months. WTH? So I signed up with a personal trainer and my first complaint to her was the weight loss. "I'm eating less - I'm working out - THIS ISN"T WORKING!!!!" She told me she wanted me to write down everything I ate. Just one potato chip? Write it down. EVERYTHING that went into my stomach. And if possible, include calorie, protein and carb information. I was to bring my food log for the week the next time I met with her. This was a turning point. Since I do everything online, I went looking for a way to log all my food through a website or something. I found a number of free tools (fitday.com, livestrong/the daily plate) but I wasn't thrilled with the features or interface. After a number of Google searches, I found MyFoodDiary.com. THIS had everything I needed. I liked the interface and while it wasn't free, it wasn't expensive either. I figured, I'd try it - and just cancel after awhile. Now? I think I'm hooked on that site for life. (Well, at least it isn't like living on Jenny Craig food forever!) With MFD (MyFoodDiary.com) I can track my weight, my food. I can build recipes, enter custom labels for foods that aren't in their database (although they have a pretty extensive database). I also read the forums - there's a lot of good information I've found there. I never thought I'd be willing to "Calorie Count" - it always seemed like a "chore." But I feel very strongly now, this is the only way I'm going to be able to do this. The first day, and almost every day since, has been an eye-opener. While I thought I was eating less, I really wasn't. When you broke it down meal for meal, calorie for calorie, I was actually taking in WAY more calories then I realized. All the diets that can promise results, whether they're low-carb, low-fat, in a box, in a shake - they all come down to one simple fact: it's basically a math equation. Calories out > calories in = weight loss. This is true for everyone, except where medical issues make it not the case. (There is a fantastic post in the forums on MFD by a guy named Charles who lost 300 something lbs this way. He said basically the same thing.) Once I started counting the calories, I started to lose weight. That's not to say I didn't hit plateau's. I have. And each time, I learned something new - and had to adjust my thinking. The first plateau I hit, again, went back to the personal trainer and had measurments taken. While I hadn't seen numbers dip on the scale, due to the amount of exercise, I was gaining muscle at almost an equal proportion to fat I was losing. Another plateau I realized that what I considered to be a portion as specified from a label - wasn't what I was actually eating. I started weighing and carefully measuring out my food so I would know exactly what I was eating. Now - I am currently sitting at about 136lbs. And I've been here for a few weeks - so it's definitely not like the "day" I was at 145. I'm certainly within my healthy range and my obsession to LOSE weight is waning. I can still see some fat that has settled on my belly and love-handles. I would love to see it gone. But I know now that I'm this close, it's going to go extremely slowly. Figure - probably .5 lbs every two weeks or so. So instead, I'm focusing on getting in shape. I want to build up some endurance and be able to run for longer periods (I feel like a wimp saying running for 2mins makes me tired. I know I can do better than that!) and I want to build some definition to my arms and shoulders. (=sigh= resistance training) I don't consider what I'm doing a "diet". Diet's come and go. You go on them. You go off them. You gain the weight back. What I have tried to do is change my lifestyle. I am making myself extremely aware of what I eat. For me, it's the only way I know I'm going to keep the weight off. I am a mindless eater. If I see it, if it's on the counter - I'll eat it. If there's a bag of chips by the computer, they'll be gone and I'll barely have the recollection of eating the entire thing. By making myself accountable for everything I eat - I know I can take control.

Learn to run: Week 2 – Session 1

This week it's running 2 mins, then walking 2 mins. Session 1 is doing that 11 times. (44 minutes total) The short version: BRUTAL. Simply brutal. The long version: Running for one minute at a time was a stretch last week. (Stop laughing - yes, I know I need to get into better shape!) This week - two minutes at a time - wow. During the first lap, I looked at the timer about half way through the two min run and I just didn't see how I was going to get through the whole 44 minutes of it all. During the running part, my heart rate got up to the high 160's - and 170's. During the 2 min walk, I was getting my heart rate back down to the 140's. But towards the end, when my heart rate was still in the 160's at the end of the two min walk - that's when it REALLY hard. To keep pushing myself to the end of  the two min run - I would focus on my breathing. Most of the time I'm panting - breathing all through my mouth. I just can't help it. When I try to inhale through my nose, it doesn't feel like I get enough air in. (Is that just me?) Either way, I tried to just take huge breaths in through my nose - exhale through my mouth - a few panting breaths - then big inhale through my nose again. Not sure if that's the right way to do it - but it helped get me to the end. I also would try focusing on other muscles in my body - specifically my stomach muscles (which need help anyway). I would tighten them up and focus on that - trying to forget about how much I really just wanted to drop to my knees and gasp for air. LOL! The other thing helping me through it - just repeating over and over in my head "You can do this. You can DO THIS." I know it seems silly - but if you have an inner voice and it starts trying to convince you to quit - chances are you ARE going to quit. Make that inner voice your cheerleader and make it louder than any other negative energy. YOU CAN DO THIS! So some lessons learned: Session 1 is always a push session. It's the hardest session of the week. DO NOT EAT DINNER RIGHT BEFORE THIS SESSION. Probably can swing that on the other nights - but not this one. So this asks the question - if I'm running at 7/8pm - I need to eat SOMETHING before I run - as eating dinner when I get back home at 9ish is just too late. I think on nights I exercise, I have to redefine what "dinner" is. I think the idea of a big meal at dinner time needs to go away - and save those for non-exercise nights. (Of which there may only be two or three at the most in a given week). And as healthy as I think eating a smaller - spaced out dinner is - it still presents other issues - specifically the kids. I have been a big believer in having dinner together. It's the one meal we always have together - it may be the one time in the whole night that we're all in the same room for a given period of time. So I still don't have all the details worked out.