I’ve taken Topiramate twice before. The first time was a few years ago for the treatment of migraines. I was getting them a few times a month, and my doctor was concerned that my taking “normal” migraine medication like Imitrex several times a month wasn’t a great idea. So we gave Topiramate a try (Also known as Topamax) It did a great job for my headaches. Little did I know, it also did a great job for my waistline. I was, at the time, trying to lose weight. Watching calories, exercising. During that time I was able to get my weight down to an incredible low. A number I hadn’t seen since High School! I thought it was all the exercise I was doing, and my appetite was under amazing control. But I did have some weird side effects. One I noticed was that (aside from the appetite reduction) I couldn’t taste carbonation. All carbonated beverages tasted flat to me and I stopped drinking them. Not really a bad thing – but just kind of weird. It makes you wonder what the heck is going on with the drug that makes you unable to taste carbonation! I wasn’t really aware of the biggest side effect the first time because most of my work was being sent to me by one single client, and I didn’t need to interact with anyone. Everything was done via email and Skype – so speaking wasn’t really an issue.

I stopped taking Topiramate because my doctor said there was a problem with taking it when you also use Mirena – it reduces its effectiveness. (DOH!!!) After I stopped taking it – all the weight slowly crept back on. My appetite kicked back into full swing. I had originally lost 30lbs – and before I knew it – all 30lbs came back on.

I started to take it again almost a year ago. A new doctor I was seeing didn’t think the Topiramate and Mirena together was a problem (at least initially). The side-effects came on instantly. And this time, they caused some serious problems for me. My work had shifted and I was doing a lot more client interaction. I was on the phone with clients discussing projects, explaining to them what my skills were and how I could help them, etc. But the Topiramate gave me terrible terrible brain fog. I didn’t realize what was happening at first. I thought I was going crazy. I was on the phone with a client, and I couldn’t for the life of me, gather my thoughts to explain what I did EVERY DAY. Words, ALL WORDS, were totally elusive. When I started doing some research online, I found some forums where people talked about experiencing “brain fog” while on Topirmate, and then it hit me that’s exactly what I was going through. That was it. I tossed the pills in the trash! My livelihood depended on my ability to interact with clients, and if I sounded like a moron – then my business was going to suffer.

Shortly after, my doctor contacted me and told me to stop taking Topiramate because she finally did confirm that it did reduce the effectiveness of Mirena. So that sealed the deal.

I’m sure under certain circumstances this new drug Qnexa will be the wonder-weight-loss drug some people have been waiting for. Given that the weight started coming back almost immediately after I stopped taking it (And the drug isn’t intended to be a permanent course of action) I question if it will really make a difference long term for people. I see it as kind of a temporary fix. In the same league as Jenny Craig. Once every meal isn’t specifically planned out for you, or in the case of this drug, once your appetite comes back to normal – that’s when you realize, despite all the weight your already lost – keeping it off will be probably be just as hard as it was losing in the first place. (In fact, it will probably be harder!)

I’m back to trying to lose that weight again and it’s going along, but a lot slower and more difficult than last time. I’m hoping this time once I get down to where I want to be, that I’ll be able to maintain it better than I did last time. I’m still also hoping that one day they’ll figure out a more permanent “fix” (or help) for weight troubles. (and don’t give me a story about how you just need to eat less twinkies. I’m eating very healthy and exercise for an hour 4x a week. I’m certainly living a healthy lifestyle – but the food that is made the most accessible to us is more often than not, unhealthy – and for someone like me – the “daily calorie allowance” is so low it’s practically a joke. It’s VERY DIFFICULT to stay in that calorie range and not feel hungry.)

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1. Cuppa Dessert
2. Diet Vacation (of sorts)
3. Keeping with the program

I hadn’t posted much about him  – we were dealing with a lot. Aside from the normal craziness that is raising and housebreaking a puppy – he was not healthy from the beginning. He had an EXTREMELY sensitive stomach, and after several hundreds of dollars of various tests – no one could determine exactly why or what was wrong with him. We fed him plenty, but he remained skinny and the food he ate practically flew through one end and out the other so quickly.We finally found a food that he would somewhat tolerate – but it didn’t make things perfect. It was a grain and gluten free, single protein food that had to be rehydrated. Then he had a massive flare up and even that stopped working as well as it once did.

If that wasn’t enough to deal with, the real killer was his aggression. Within the first week of having him here, he growled and snapped at me at a way I’ve never seen a *normal puppy* do. It was bizarre. And no one really believed me that a PUPPY would show aggression like this. They said it was “posturing” not aggression. Ok… so we paid top dollar for a great trainer who whipped us into shape about how to behave and treat the puppy so that he would know we were alpha. We did this for months. The problem began to get worse, not better. He would be sitting in a room – no “triggers” near by (no food, no toys) – he wasn’t sleeping, he’d be wide awake – just hanging out – and my daughter who has always been very gentle with him and respectful of him, would come up to pet him – and for no reason at all he would growl at her. Then my husband – who SURELY he must see as ALPHA in our pack – would come up to him – and again, he would growl at him.

I spoke to another trainer, and they said with all his problems – since we had the option of bringing him back to the breeder – we should take it. This is not the right dog for our family.

Who knows, maybe he needed to be in a bigger house – or a bigger back yard – or he needs other dogs with him to keep him in line. Whatever it is – he didn’t belong with us. It broke our hearts – it wasn’t for lack of love that we brought him back. But I have a responsibility to my family and I have a responsibility to him. However, my family comes first and I was worried about the direction this was headed. I was worried that growl would very soon turn into something more disastrous. I’m glad he’s with the breeder – she’ll take good care of him. Maybe she’ll be able to determine the source of his issues – and then place him in a home that’s more appropriate.

In the meantime – we are once again trying to heal from the loss of a dog. Bad timing too. So close to my daughter’s birthday again when last year we had to say goodbye to our other dog after 12 happy years. And I am on the hunt again for a dog. This time I think we’re going to go with the same breed we had last time and that we are so in love with: a Cairn Terrier or Westie (West Highland Terrier).

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1. Life Update
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3. Puppies

Just a Dog

From time to time, people tell me “Lighten up, it’s just a dog” or, “That’s a lot of money for just a dog.” They don’t understand the distance traveled, time spent, or costs involved for “Just a dog.” Some of my proudest moments have come about with “Just a dog.” Many hours have passed with my only company being “Just a dog,” and not once have I felt slighted. Some of my saddest moments were brought about by “Just a dog.” In those days of darkness, the gentle touch of “just a dog” provided comfort and purpose to overcome the day.

If you, too, think it’s “just a dog,” you will probably understand phrases like “just a friend,” “just a sunrise,” or “just a promise.” “Just a dog” brings into my life the very essence of friendship, trust and pure unbridled joy. “Just a dog” brings out the compassion and patience that makes me a better person. Because of “just a dog” I will rise early, take long walks and look longingly to the future.

For me, and folks like me, it’s not “just a dog.” It’s an embodiment of all the hopes and dreams of the future, the fond memories of the past, and the pure joy of the moment. “Just a dog” brings out what’s good in me and diverts my thoughts away from myself and the worries of the day.

I hope that someday people can understand it’s not “just a dog.” It’s the thing that gives me humanity and keeps me from being “just a man or woman.”

So the next time you hear the phrase “just a dog,” smile, because they “just don’t understand.”

-Author Unknown

Oh, also… check out this article on the New York Times about how people who have dogs tend to exercise more.

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1. The Chosen Puppy
2. Doggie Insanity Test
3. Updates on life

I’ve become even more aware of how much I *need* to have a dog in my life these past few months. Sure, our old dog wasn’t playing much the last few years of his life, but he was always by my side. It’s been hard not having him around – and I miss the companionship.

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1. Dog hunt
2. Doggie Insanity Test
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It’s going to be a hard decision though – ALL of those puppies from that litter are just ADORABLE.

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1. The Chosen Puppy
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3. One month later

It is pretty cool to finally be HOME. The challenge with this house will be storage – the house itself is quite a bit smaller than our last and there’s just less storage space overall. It’s going to take some creativity to solve the problem. Especially since we’re minus an office ROOM. My new office is now basically a hallway. So no office closet or anything like that. To compensate, I put a book shelf in the hallway with me, and bought some pretty baskets that fit on the shelves to put stuff in. So when you walk down the hallway, instead of seeing a bunch of office supplies hanging out everywhere, you just see the pretty baskets on the shelves.

Our kitchen has a lot of available space, but to make the most use of it, we’ll have to get some roll out shelves. Wherever I can put a piece of furniture that can hold things, that’s what we’re doing. And of course, we’re continuing to junk as much stuff as possible.

But even with all the boxes everywhere… I’m still so glad we’re done.

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It was so close I could taste it.

And now it’s gotten just a little bit further. Today was the first day we could go in the house, despite the fact that the sellers have been out of the place for a few days. We were told they wanted to hang onto it an extra few days to “clean.” Riiiight. When we moved out of our old house, I hired professional cleaners to come in and clean everything. They scrubbed the kitchen, bathroom, vacuumed every room and closet. Dusted. The place was probably cleaner than it ever was when we lived there. But in our case, despite telling us they were “cleaning” the place, I did not get the same treatment on our new house.

Hair all over the showers and tubs. Garbage on the floor in the closets and in some of the drawers. Paint we didn’t want, left in the garage. Dust piles on the baseboards. Dust and dirt throughout the floors. Hair even on the dirty counters in the kitchen. Toilets that haden’t been cleaned in at least a few weeks (they had that tell-tale mold ring where the water meets the bowl). But as grossed out as I was – that wasn’t even the worst of it. The worse was the strange pile of something that looked like sandy dirt in the corner of the master bedroom.

Termites.

We still have to get someone in there, inspect and officially confirm, but based on the pictures I’ve seen online, what we saw is EXACTLY the same as the examples of evidence of dry-wood termites. The house was inspected for termites and had “section 1 clearance” – which means that the inspector said there were no termites. I don’t understand how we can go from that assessment, to OBVIOUS evidence in such a short amount of time, and on the first day we can get the house. I have no idea what recourse we’ll have, and who will have to pay (we’re already strapped for cash – so I’m just afraid what this means for us)

On top of that, the painters came in today, but didn’t get as far on the job as we would have liked. Our movers are, at this very moment, making their way here and will be here on Thursday, but I have no guarantee that the painters will be done. (In fact, I’m 99% sure they WON’T be done and will still have paint and tarps everywhere) As well, I don’t know what we’ll do with our stuff if we have to have the place fumigated. Oh, and the New Years Eve party? I can pretty much forget about that – as well as having Christmas there. Until the place is cleaned and termites dealt with, I’m not staying there and we can’t unpack.

So… you can probably guess I’m just a WEE bit disappointed. And freaked out. And grossed out. And SERIOUSLY pissed off.

After this whole experience, I NEVER want to move again. Ever.

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